We finally got our digital converter boxes. Slackers I know but, I've become a "quasi coupon queen"...since we are still finishing the basement and expenses for that seem never ending I'm doing all I can to cut corners and make do while seeing who will hire for part time employment and work with numerous doctors appts...:o) It's become entertaining to see exactly how cheap I can be..plus it does kill time. We may be the only people under 60 who use the Rite-Aid and other pharmacies "transfer a prescription here and get a gift card free" --However, one of the perks of the many prescriptions we use is --we can make out like bandits. If we add in the coupons for the converter boxes--then we had gift cards of $170.00 for this week. I think it's the one perk of chronic illness.
Another random thought here---Rosco and I actually watched Oprah at 2 in the morning. She was refering to her best self and weight gain issues-- boy do I understand those! :o) --and being Oprah she can make it marketable. I wasn't exactly feeling my best self due to a slight mishap with my pump. I always managed to kind of kink the little catheter when I put it in my stomach. Good note---haven't been that high in a while so that's good for the kidneys--bad note---589 does not feel good at all. The postive side was in waiting up until it went down to at least 300---and hanging out with Rosco and just being dumb together. I get told by people that they love our "silly" engagement photo with the caption- "Love is being stupid--together". That's really true for us..and Libby ends up just adding to the fun. All in all I'm hoping to do some more soul searching and thinking on how to become more of my best self, however I think God and perhaps my therapist will be my go to's instead of rerun's of Oprah.
Last random thought---I think we may be the only people that are told by the vet that when she is brought back for the check up we need to stay and not drop her off. To her credit--she did have a huge piece of foxtail grass in her eye and as Mom said is spoiled rotten at home-not used to being kennelled. :o) I was dying though seeing her in such pain and not being able to relieve it. I'm don't know how parents handle kids getting hurt---Mark was telling us about his son Jack--and the temper tantrum and head cracking incident. He handled it so well--I don't know how Mom and Dad dealt with us kids---especially with the diabetes! Perhaps I'm best suited to be an Auntie--less stress, more spoiling. Plus, it's gonna be happening here in about a month. Crazy fun times.
So here's hoping that I can figure out how to be my best self--but also here's to appreciating the journey, with the falls and the fun. The fun being lunches with Raney that end all to soon, laughing with Rosco and Libs, getting M2's birthday present sent on time, actually getting tution figured out for this semester and appreciating the growth that comes from the falls.

Roller Coaster of Emotions...

I can't begin to understand the emotions of this week. I find myself coming to terms with some of my own but, those in fact are affected by my wondering of how others are coping. I can't remember the last time I have cried so hard, or laughed so hard in the same week. Although the sorrows still seem to outweigh the joys-- I am finding hope in many ways. Whether it be from the comforts of catching up with old friends and memories, laughter or allowing the tears to flow, the hurt just to be, and offering a prayer--I am hopeful.
Driving home from SLC after meeting up with Jake was a fun afternoon and nice to catch up--and much the usual on the way home. Listening to Nightside Project and having my never-ending frusteration with Utah Drivers. While listening, I discovered how trival my annoyances were. I found out that Brian had been killed, tased by police officers down in Hurricane. It was devastating and completely unreal. I have discussed with a old friend how although I hadn't been close to him, I feel close to his Mom, my Aunt Margret; and feel completely devastaed by the loss that their family is enduring, amongest all of the other challenges that they have been facing. So many thoughts have been running through my head since then. I can not imagine the difficulty they are facing, I have seen the strength that Paul has shown by providing the media with the necessary information, and have been in awe of the capacity of kindness and forgiveness he has already shown. I am inspired and uplifted by it, but still feel such sadness over the loss and the pain that everyone who knew him, especially close family are going thru. The funeral will be on Monday morning, near Grandma's. I hope to be of support, if none other then to be there; in the comfort of the mix of family, friends, sadness and love.
I also found out on Sunday that Spud had been hospitalized again on Sunday that opiutes were found in his system. Where or what exactly they are and who from is a question. He doesn't recall taking my pain pills when he was over but Mom and I have talked of questioning what he remembers when he is in a mania or a low. He won't be coming home for a long while, but a true blessing is that he is under good care and seems so different with the medication change already. The differences in what was told to M&D from therapist and doctor from the LCSW is a bit unsettling. I discussed with Dad briefly filing a complaint but with the realization that among the million and one other commitments time for that is slim, if not non-existent. However, the blessing of such is that with Dad's knowledge and considerable amount of phone calling placement became available and Spud is on the right path for the time being. Additional findings and discussion with Dad about Spud is heartwrenching and seems so unfair.
The tears have kept coming, even today just simply hearing the radio, a certain song and having thoughts wander to sad places. I truly feel blessed to have been able to not only see my awesome therapist this week but to have time with Mom to go see Spud. Libby of course came and being a puppy was the hit of the lobby--except with one staff. It had already been a great visit with a few chuckles--thanks to Libby's antics and attempts to act like wanna be human. When we left we discovered the sprinklers were on--which of course had to be investigated. I couldn't exactly tell ya when or why we started laughing--before or after we all got hit by the water or when Libby seemed so utterly confused by the movement of it--but it was the deep in the gut, spilling out til tears come laughter. A much needed, silly, mindless experience. I hope for more every day.

The first step...or blog I guess. :o)

Well...technically it's official. I have a blog. Thoughts of randomness....here we come.
Actually I've been thinking a lot lately about the blessings of this broken leg. More time to catch up with people and more time to think and appreciate all that I take for granted. I've never realized how much it can mean to someone to just have someone stop by and say hello. Or a phone call--or NetFlix from my wonderful Ginna. Celeste, David and sweet baby Dane came by soon afterI got ouf of the hospital. Celeste untangled by bed hair which took a loooong time--definately a labor of love there. :o) Everyone has been great---and it's been nice to just be able to slow down and being able to appreciate life's little things and the peoople who do them.. Libby has been the best cure for cabin fever--can you attribute a dog to keeping you sane? Never a dull moment with that dog...lots of fun ones.
Another bright spot has been the time to read --once I was down to less pain pills and could stay awake long enough to read. I'm hoping to start on that list that Keith gave us in Stress Management and of course a few more Anne Perry's, or Agatha Cristie's. Dar recommended a few new authors/books that should prove interesting as well.
I'm so glad that classes have started and thanks to Opa enrolling in Summer classes was possible. Feel lucky to have gotten classes I need online or second block. It will be nice to be learning again and feeling like life is moving forward. Here's to that--relishing what we have to work with and enjoying the moment but looking forward to accomplish long set goals.